Day Two of wearing my new ‘swine-flu’-retardant suit and I’m pleased to report that I’m already getting used to it. It’s like any new item of clothing – a bit starchy and unfamiliar to begin with, but then (simply through wear & tear) it gradually begins to ease & mould itself to your body contours etc. I am keeping a notebook in my back pocket in which to record the supposedly-amusing remarks made to me by members of the public. So far, in numerical order of popularity, I have been compared to a bee-keeper (6 comments); Neil Armstrong (4); and Michelin Man (1) [I’m ignoring for these purposes the two people who stopped me in the street, correctly identified me instantly and then carried on a conversation with me without ever mentioning my new attire]. At this stage of course – because of the British public’s general inertia and failure to heed the Government’s warnings about the global risks of a pandemic [I presume because nobody believes anything Gordon Brown says anymore] - these new suits are only just beginning to catch on. I came across just two others whilst out and about yesterday, one in the street and one in the queue at the butcher’s shop, and (as you do), rather like drivers of Aston Martins wave acknowledgement to each other on the road, we both nodded or lifted a finger in recognition of the fact we had something in common which the rest of the world didn’t. It’ll be different in a few weeks’ time of course when the Femail section of the Daily Mail features it as the latest hot fashion item. The irony will be the fact that 94,000 people in London – on the estimate given out in the media yesterday – will have died of flu in the pandemic by then. I’m rather looking forward to it. The daily commute into town will certainly be less of a crush … just as well, with the bulk & restricted movement you have to endure when wearing one of these things. Two other aspects are beginning to worry me. It’s practically impossible to use the toilet once you’ve spent the necessary half an hour getting into the suit … at the moment I daren’t go further than the H37 bus-stop down the road … and yesterday the Weather Centre announced that we’re going to have a cracking summer with record temperatures. If that prediction proves correct (and fortunately British weather forecasters get it wrong 40% of the time) I can see things getting a bit unpleasant in Richmond town centre by August …