Yesterday, now struggling with the devastating effects of advanced man ‘flu, I somehow held it together long enough to drink eleven pints of Summer Lightning golden ale before joining the biggest-ever crowd (14,282) at the Stoop to watch the Columbinas strut their stuff [Sorry, the LV= Girls, as they are now known, courtesy of a misguided sponsor].

Afterwards, having returned home, I was too tired & weak to do anything but take up position on the sofa in front of the television and watch Strictly Come Dancing and The X-Factor. I fear that I may be unable to leave my bed today. If anything untoward should happen to me, please take this journal entry as evidence of my desire to bequeath my collection of photographs of a certain Bond actress to the British Museum.